How many times we listen to the opinions of others and it hurts us. Especially happens to people with fibromyalgia and patients suffering from chronic pain.
It seems that when you’re having a bad time, you can’t get a little ready to look good, or vice versa, that when you look good you can’t be having a bad time.
It is true that patients with pain, especially bad days, do not feel like doing many things or even have trouble getting out of bed, but it is also true that there are days that make the effort to go to a different place or try to enjoy something with their family, or they manage to look better … and they don’t run away without a comment that, although the intention is to encourage, when you are regular it is harmful.
The society of appearance
We live in the society of appearance. Everything goes through the image to the point that exclaims us. When we look at social networks, most of the time we only see how well others are having a good time: photo of how beautiful I am, photo of how well I am having fun, another of how amusing my friend’s party, what I am seeing such an idyllic landscape, what a vacation I am hitting … suddenly a strange sensation of “everyone is happy and I …” invades us and if we have a bad day for whatever reason, it can make us feel unfortunate. And it is not like that.
Life is difficult for everyone, even if everyone has their nuances. We have good, bad and regular days. The work is not always going well even there are people who do not have, even celebrities have to find their bread, some even selling their lives because they have no other source of income, singers have to tour and sleep many days outside their homes without his family to be there … but they all seem happy in the photos and we can think “how lucky he is, that he is doing great, he succeeds and earns a lot of money” … and even so, that person also has his days that he would like to be anonymous and not have to sign autographs and put on a good face for the photos feeling for their body a concern or wanting to be somewhere else accompanying a loved one, or being feeling angry at a problem that at that time would want to solve with someone close, or thousands of things we don’t know because we are not in your skin.
Although each of us has our concerns and we lead our lives as best we can, we generally do not put ourselves in the shoes of others and think happily based on the appearance it gives us.
Our image and our reality
Thus, we are not aware that each one of us in our work or in the circumstances of our life has to put an impartial face, listen to opinions, solve problems, but we have ours inside. And if we stop to reflect, that conditions us how to deal with everyday things.
So, when we see someone seemingly well and tell us he doesn’t feel that way, let’s respect his words and hold on to the comment. Sometimes it helps more a silence, a gesture, a hug or a “well here you have me for what you need.”
Our society would be different if we were all more understanding and made less value judgments.